Black and White
by ohmytheon
Summary: [Modern AU] You only get one chance to see color before it's ripped from your life forever. (Until it isn't.)
1. gone

**Author's Notes:** I can't believe I never published this story on here. I wrote the first part of this over a year ago. I was planning on this being a simple Catwin one-shot, but I ended up writing about Ned and Catelyn so much that I figured this would just be a two-parter. Because I love Ned/Cat too and it felt interesting to write about what might happen after the death of your soulmate. So this first part is just Ned/Cat and the second part will be Catwin. And I finished the second part over a year later tonight.

 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing bye.

* * *

 _part one: gone_

* * *

The day the color slipped from her vision, Catelyn felt as if her heart stopped. She had been at home, playing with her son Rickon. It had just been an average day. Ned was away on business; the kids were at school; and she was chasing her youngest around their backyard, laughing and having fun. One second, she was surrounded by the lush greens of the grass, bushes, and trees; the sky was a clear blue, no clouds in sight; the sun shining bright yellow; red cardinal birds and bluejays fluttering around everywhere; blue roses growing off to the side…

And then she blinked and all the color was gone.

Catelyn came to a sudden halt, hand going to her heart as it skipped a bit, and looked around in confusion. Slowly, horror began to seep into her body, flowing through her veins, until it pumped through her and she could barely breathe. All she could do was stand there and gape at the vast array of black, grays, and whites.

It wasn't until she felt Rickon tugging on her sleeve and looking up at her with questioning gray eyes that she was dragged back into reality. "Mum?"

Later, she would think of how foolish she'd been, what a terrible mother she'd turned into, but all she could do was gawk blankly at her youngest child before turning on her heels and darting into the house, leaving him alone and confused. He didn't know – he couldn't possibly know anything – because he was too young to see color, to young to know what it meant to suddenly lose that ability.

Tears leaked out of her eyes, blurring her vision, as she searched for her cell phone. She muttered under her breath, tossing things around, but still unable to find the damn thing, until she was standing in the middle of her drab living room and crying hysterically. She sunk to the floor, clutching a black pillow, and stayed there for a long time. When her phone finally rang, it was Rickon that brought it to her since she'd apparently left it outside, but she couldn't answer it.

 _He's dead,_ the gray and white colors whispered, _and he took all the colors in the world with him._

They say that things get a little darker in the world when the love of your life dies. If only it wasn't so true. The funeral had been the darkest day of her life, rolling black and dark gray clouds hanging over their heads, black mud under their feet. The only thing that seemed to be white was the casket they'd buried Ned in.

No one had warned her of what it would be like should her soulmate die before her. No one told her that the vibrant color he'd brought into her life would slip into the grave alongside him the moment he died, as if it had never been there in the first place. She could look at something as simple as a banana, know that it was yellow, and still not see it. She combed her daughter Sansa's beautiful red hair that matched her own and saw only gray. Her oldest son Robb's eyes were no longer the blue that he'd inherited from her. The only thing that remained consistent was the grays of her daughter Arya's eyes, though even those seemed different, off, not right.

Everything changed the moment Ned died. She had to go back to the old ways, before she knew him. Knowing that things were not right and that they would never be right again… It took a lot out of her, but she forced herself to move on, picked herself up off the ground and walked through a life of no color. It was all she could do.

"Mum, I…" Robb tugs at the collar of his shirt, his cheeks tinted gray just slightly to let her know that he's blushing and embarrassed about something. "Is this what it was like for you when Dad…? Just…bits of color here and there?"

Catelyn wants to cry. She can see the shift in her son as plain as day, just as she once recognized it in her own reflection all those years ago. He's still her boy, but he's growing up so fast. Instead, she smiles, truly happy for her son, and yet scared for him at the same time.

"Yes, that's how it was," Catelyn tells her son.

When Robb looks at her, she knows that he's seeing something she cannot, his once bright blue eyes shining with a light of recognition that will amaze him for the months to come. "I got your red hair," he says quietly, "and your eyes, and… I don't look anything like Father."

"Oh, Robb." Catelyn sighs and pulls Robb into her arms. He's not a child anymore, not by a long shot, hasn't been since the day he showed up on the doorstep from basic after hearing the news about his father's death. "You may not look like him, but you've inherited plenty from him, trust me. He'd be so excited to hear this news."

Robb gives her a smile, an almost bashful look. Catelyn thinks that should tell him then – give him some sort of warning – let him know of what could happen in the end. She wants to take him by the shoulders and tell him that one day all the color he's seeing now could vanish in the blink of an eye.

But she doesn't. She can't get the words out of her mouth, can't admit to it, and so she sits down instead and listens to him as he talks about all the colors that are opening up to him since meeting Jeyne Westerling. She never once blinks or frowns, though her soul aches at the thought of seeing those colors again. They're so far out of her grasp that she cannot even begin to fathom them anymore, only two years gone. She never tells Robb that she cannot see color anymore and she realizes that she never will, because she cannot stand the idea of her children dreading what might come.

Catelyn realizes somewhat dimly that her father never told her either when her mother passed. No one ever tells people about that. The heartache is too painful, too real, to utterly devastating to explain.

You only get one chance to see color before it's ripped from your life forever.

(Until it isn't.)


	2. returned

**Author's Notes:** Ah, hell, it's probably been at least a year since I've written for this fic - or almost anything Catwin related. Which is a shame since I basically created that ship. If inspiration doesn't strike, it doesn't happen. I've just been out of this fandom for so long. But then I came across a gif edit and inspiration hit out of nowhere, and then I remembered that I was supposed to write a second part to this fic so, yup, it happened.

* * *

 _part two: returned_

* * *

Nearly two years of grey, black, and white passes for Catelyn. She smiles every time her oldest son Robb tells her of the colors that he has begun to see since meeting Jeyne Westerling - and she does not tell him of the pain he might one day feel when those colors are robbed from him should she pass before him. She doesn't know why she doesn't tell him - doesn't understand why her father didn't warn her after her mother passed - but she cannot bring herself to warn him. The smiles feel cold at first when he describes how blue the sky is compared to their similar eyes, but by the time he is telling her how different Arya's grey eyes are compared to the greys that he saw before he knew color, her smiles are warm and true.

Catelyn is determined to be truly happy once all of her children can see color, even if color was robbed from her the second that Ned died.

It's near the two year anniversary of Ned's death when the fundraiser that the Stark family created comes up. Founded to help orphaned children, it has been the pride and joy of the Starks for six generations. Back when they were married, it was up to Ned to put the fundraiser together, although it was always Catelyn who set it up in the end. It turned out that she was good at it and she enjoyed it. The year before last was decent at best. She did what she could, but lost in so many greys, the simple difficulty of being unable to color coordinate had nearly rendered her useless. The year before that, it had only been weeks after Ned's death, and she flittered through the already organized fundraiser like a ghost, barely unable to muster a conversation despite trying to use every last bit of strength she had left in her.

This year, Catelyn was determined for it to be the best. The turnout was faulty, considering the last two years, but she put her heart and soul into it, letting everyone know that the Stark Hope for Children foundation was at the top of its game. The past year she did everything she could to get the name out, perhaps spending more time on the organization than her own job as a partner in her family's law firm, but she didn't care. Her husband and their colors would live on through this foundation if it is the last thing she did.

"You look beautiful, Mum," her oldest daughter Sansa tells her as they walk out onto the floor.

Catelyn smiles, perhaps a touch too wry for the moment. "I hope so. I relied on you for the colors, after all."

Sansa, stunning and getting too old for her mother's sake, blushes to the tips of her roots, grey in Catelyn's eyes, red in her own. The poor girl is still out of sorts after having met her soulmate, who turned out to be a silly and shy boy named Podrick. Catelyn knows that she shouldn't tease her daughter, if only because she feels so guilty about the fact that her soulmate is related to the drunk driver that killed Ned, her father. It's not the boy's fault though. He's absurdly sweet and kind, for a Payne, and doesn't touch alcohol like his life depends on it.

Something catches her daughter's blue eyes (or at least they were blue from what Catelyn remembers, like her own) and Sansa bites her lip. "May I-?"

"Tell Podrick I say hello," Catelyn says with a smile, "and to loosen up. He's always so jittery."

Smiling brightly, Sansa kisses her on the cheek and then scurries away through the crowd. Catelyn watches as her daughter finds Podrick, who is wearing a plain tux, and hugs him. It's enough to cause the boy to blush. He's so good to Sansa, nothing like her ex-boyfriend. Her daughter had the unfortunate happenstance of meeting two boys at the same time, one her soulmate and the other a horrible human being, and didn't realize which one was which until the abuse started. A full year before she found out that the boy who treated her terribly wasn't the one to bring color into her life while the one that hung in the background did… Catelyn knows that feeling all too well. After all, she had thought that it was Brandon that gave her color, not Ned, and she was wrong about it. He took it away upon his death.

"In all honesty, I wasn't expecting this fundraiser to last another year," a deep voice says from behind her.

Catelyn spins around, ready to tell the person off, when she connects with a shock of green eyes. At first, she blinks, not knowing what she should say, but she finds herself drawn to the eyes of the man standing before her. He's tall compared to her, maybe an inch or so taller than Ned was, but his eyes are such a vibrant color compared to Ned's. Whereas his was as grey as Arya's, this man's eyes are a bright green, flecked with gold. She knows those colors deep in her soul, but she hasn't seen them for so long. Her heart aches at the sight of them. Green and gold! How magical, how wonderful, how…

"Who are you?" Catelyn demands, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she can stop herself.

The man blinks, a confused look crossing his own face before he hides it away. Does he see the colors too? Is he as startled as she is? She lost her ability to see colors the moment her love, her soulmate, her Ned died. Why is she seeing them again now? Her heart races in her chest and she has to fight the urge to turn on her heels and run away before he even answers.

With the confused look shuttered away, his lips curl into a sneer. "You don't know who I am? And you proclaim to be a part of one of the elite?"

Catelyn tries not to snarl herself, but only manages to stop herself midway. She has always been excellent at curbing her reactions, ever since her mother passed and she was forced to act as the matriarch of her family at the age of twelve. Nothing quite like being not even a teenager and having to face down people in the export business. She used to be better than this. She's out of the game though and feels raw and unused after almost two years of trying to hide. "Should I?" she counters, even though she damn well should, if he's the source of color suddenly springing back into her life.

"I know you, Catelyn Stark," the man says, holding a hand out to shake, "and you should definitely know me. Tywin Lannister, at your service."

All of the air is sucked out of Catelyn's lungs as color begins to filter back into her eyes. Beyond the green and gold of his eyes, she begins to see just how golden his hair is, despite its thinning at his age, and the gold tie pin on his red and gold striped tie, the fact that his suit is a dark navy blue instead of black like she originally thought upon first glance. Terror seeps into her bones. She never expected to see color again - it died with Ned - and yet she is seeing it now, upon looking at Tywin bloody Lannister of all people, a man that she more than knows by reputation, the richest man in the country. She could honestly laugh if she isn't so shocked.

Catelyn takes his hand to shake. "I didn't think a man of your calibre came to fundraisers like this."

"Call me curious, considering the past few years," Tywin replies, his grip strong and measured.

It's unintentional, but Catelyn has found herself much more prickly than before. "If you're going to mock-"

"I'm not mocking," Tywin interrupts, strengthening his grip on her hand when she moves to pull away. He locks his eyes on hers. She's never found a gaze so mesmerizing. His eyes would be green and gold. "Not many would be able to pull themselves together as you did. It's true that I don't care for fundraisers, but this has been an...unforgettable event."

"Did you think to pull out the checkbook before or after this meeting?" Catelyn questions coolly.

Seeing color is a powerful motivator. After all, how many people would have gotten together if color didn't burst into their life upon meeting one another? Sansa never thought of Podrick in such a way after their meeting, thinking it was Joffrey at first. Catelyn didn't grow to love Ned for almost two years. Robb glanced at Jeyne once and said she was the one. Would he have thought otherwise if seeing color didn't determine it or give him a clue? And what is this clue that Catelyn has been given now upon meeting Tywin and seeing color again for the first time in almost two years?

"Before," Tywin admits, "when I watched your speech on stage."

"You saw me before I saw you," Catelyn says under her breath, barely a whisper. Tywin doesn't smile in response, but she sees the ghost of it, like he has beat her in something. It almost makes her scowl. "You knew."

"I'd forgotten just how much I loved the color red until that moment."

Catelyn blushes - and this time, when she does, there is someone that is able to see just how red her cheeks are. If she saw her reflection, she would be able to see them again. She doesn't know if that makes her want to cry or not. Red was such an important color in her life before. Ned loved the color of her hair. He said it was so vibrant and full of life. It was the color of blood when she gave birth to her children. Red was life. And she is capable of seeing it again because of this man standing before her.

"I didn't think…" Catelyn shakes her head.

Tywin lets go of her hand. The ache that follows the lack of his touch startles her. "That it was possible?" He practically scoffs. Such a cold man. How could he be her second chance of having a soulmate? And yet, she understands that coldness. She recognizes it as the feeling that settled in her bones the year after Ned's death. It's not cold; it's protection. "Life is full of surprises, it seems."

He won't be as warm as Ned, not as kind, not as gentle. But fate has plans for them regardless. Catelyn tilts her head as she looks at him and then, as his green eyes focus on her again, she smiles. "Would you care to dance, Tywin?"

Despite having let go of her just seconds ago, Tywin moves to take her hand again, his other settling on the small of her back. There is an almost predatory smile on his lips, his touch hot even through the cloth of her dress and more than claiming. She is his, his touch seems to say, and he is hers. It's a laughable thought, but she somehow knows that he won't allow anyone else to dance with her tonight, despite the fact that she's the head of the fundraiser and she should be available to dance with anyone. He'll shell out more money before he lets any other man touch her tonight

Catelyn forces her smile to not turn into a smirk as Tywin leads her onto the dance floor, his eyes locked on hers. What an absurdly colorful night.


End file.
